Tyler claims he has forgiven his father. For anyone who has ever studied psychology, it is evident why his mentally ill crippled father, a black man, did what he did. He hated Tyler and Tyler’s mother for protecting him and for simply being his mother but most of all he hated himself and he felt trapped. Tyler’s not telling the whole story but it’s not that hard to figure out. The sad irony about any type of abuse is these kids never get real revenge no matter how successful they become as adults. I question if having a relationship with the abuser, as Tyler does/did with his father, is good for the victim. If you have your own kids, how apt would you be to leave them around the person who abused you? If you did and they abused your children could that be the catalyst to have you arrested for assault or worse? There is a good chance the abused person will overprotect their own children in a situation like this and with all these risks, why should you even have a relationship at all with the abuser? To me, it solidifies the abuser’s treatment and qualifies his or her stance as an OK thing. Not so. Sure it’s too late to look back but it’s also too late to move forward, that is not the victims fault it’s the abusers fault but quite often victims are made to feel they are wrong for being pissed off about what took place. Isn’t that an irony? The abuse is traumatic because the child was not protected and now as an adult if he or she tries to protect themselves, they are denied the opportunity to have the nerve to be pissed off about the situation? They are bringing up the past, they need to “get over it” or “move on.” What kind of twisted psychology is that? It’s the kind that black ministers like TD Jakes preach in his church each Sunday and it’s the WRONG INFORMATION. It is no wonder so many of us turn to drugs and alcohol. The damage that is done to an abused child is often irrevocable. Western culture defines therapy as a way of healing and forgiving, I’m not saying none of it works, I meditate all the time and I know that works but the black community’s approach to healing has often been found in a bottle of Jack Daniels, crack, sex, gambling, food and other addictions because we have collective denied ourselves an opportunity to have feelings about certain things. The black community does not handle mental illness well and abuse causes mental illness. In addition, in the black community, the abuse is often so severe and coupled with poverty, frustration and the effects of being boxed in and categorized by American culture, it feels better to just ignore it. You cannot be expected to forgive someone who literally stole your childhood and have a normal life. You SHOULD be pissed off and mad as hell, the question is what do you do with that energy when you can’t beat the living shit out of that person. You may have surmised I have my own childhood issues and I did but at the same time I had a great childhood too. For me there was enough balance to maintain a level of sanity but child abuse is still an issue that disturbs me. What disturbs me more is the fact that the black community includes this in the plethora of things to sweep under the carpet because we are too fucking lazy to deal with it. Tyler has certainly channeled his frustration but he has not changed it, it’s evident in this video. That house needs to be purchased by him then destroyed. I think there should be legislation that gives a kid 5 minutes to beat the shit out of the person who abused them when he or she turns 16. That is probably the ONLY way you truly get over it. Isn’t it amazing how many successful Black people have been robbed of their childhoods? Oprah, Tyler, Maya, Chris Brown etc…Perhaps there is a silver lining in that cloud, and perhaps these people do excel in the arts when they find a way to channel that negative energy.
