The hallmarks of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding.
Have you ever been around somebody who treats you like their assistant? When you get finished being around the person, you feel like you just ran on the treadmill, uphill at the highest level for two hour sans the “runner’s high” but an all-time “drainer’s low.”
Being around a narcissist is absolutely DRAINING and if you know someone like this, it’s best to run at full speed in the other direction. Here in LA, Narcissists are a dime a dozen just stop in any Starbucks within a 20-mile radius of Hollywood and all the conversations will consist of things like “My Brand is…” “My music is better than (major star) …” etc. Here are 10 signs that you may be better off physically running into oncoming traffic on the freeway during rush hour instead of keeping company with people such as this:
Everything … EVERYTHING is about THEM!!!
You have to sit and listen to them talk about themselves for HOURS. Everything is about “Me” “My Brand” and “This is what I am going to do” and don’t dare interrupt … they will say things like “No, no, you don’t understand the vision” when you offer ideas and you don’t even give a sh but you are already trying to plan your escape from the situation while they go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about themselves.
Your job is to listen and shut up until they get tired of hearing themselves talk which usually happens around the sixth hour… OR they tell you NOTHING about themselves and they are very secretive but they want to know EVERYTHING about you especially the negative things so they can use them against you later.
They are NEVER Wrong Because you are NEVER Right!
The job of a Narcissist it to keep you beneath them and to make sure that you are aware that they are god and you are to serve them. If you ever stand up to them or question something they have done wrong, they ALWAYS find a way to point the finger back at YOU and blame YOU for what they do wrong (which is always).
You Hope to Change Them but Their Goal is to Change YOU
They lure you in like they want your help and advice but they’re really looking to change your biology by sucking the DNA out of your last five generations and collecting their souls. Like Dracula looking for blood, they are very skillful at being charming and at playing games to lure you into the trap.
Your Job is to Babysit, Nurture and Understand Their Addictions
If they have addictions, you are supposed to not only understand and not have an opinion about it but your job is to help them by paying for it or contributing to the cause. Many parents get stuck in this cycle with their drug-addicted and/or mentally ill children who hold them hostage by their childhoods.
Drug addicts and alcoholics are actually very skillful at taking advantage of pity that they surmise is actually guilty. Either way, they don’t care cause it works.
They are Materialistic
They constantly look at wedding rings, or for car keys in someone’s hands to see what kind of car they drive. Looks are irrelevant, as a matter of fact, they prefer ugly people with wealth because there is better chance that self-esteem may be absent in lieu of confidence.
Narcissists are correct in their assessment, unlike most people, that confidence and self-esteem are two different things. Self-Esteem is a belief in yourself, Confidence is a belief in what you can do.
Narcissists are ONLY interested in people who make THEM look good or better than they look. You are not good enough for them UNLESS you can enhance their lives WITHOUT asking them for anything in return. They admire rich and/or famous people and they are jealous and attack them at the same time. You are supposed to be honored to be in their company as one of their subjects, never the master.
They Harp on Everyone who Has Done them Wrong and Refuse to Admit to their own Shortcomings
NOBODY can hold a grudge like a Narcissist. We have all been treated like sh by somebody who we want nothing else to do with ever again in life but we can be restored by confronting the person who has done us wrong and move on. A Narcissist, however, looks at a confrontation as a way to make the person feel MORE guilty.
Guilt from those who have done them wrong is the main course for them. They will even BEFRIEND the person JUST to be a consistent reminder of the wrongdoing and getting a neverending payment for the infraction. An apology or confrontation doesn’t allow forgiveness but just another notch in the Narcissists’ belt.
They Throw up YOUR Negative Past Mistakes to Keep a Leash on Your Well-Being
See the previous but to expound, they also include the things you feel bad about. You have to be very careful about opening up to a narcissist because they look for weaknesses and then use them as a tool against you. They will constantly point out areas where you have fallen short to keep you in check and enslaved.
They Thrive on YOUR Weakness and Encourage you to Do More of it.
If YOU have an addiction, suicide would be a better option than having narcissists people in your life, mostly because the goal is the same but one is quick and the other is grueling. They feed off the destruction of others to feel better about themselves. They are secretly extremely insecure self-loathing people.
They Are Controlling
They tell you what to do and how to do it. They can be so controlling they treat you like you are a child who has no knowledge of how the world works. Once again, it is their way of keeping you in check.
All of their relationships are Short Term
Nobody, in their right mind, deals with a narcissist long term. They deal with them every two to three months at best and they are smart enough not to be consistent in their relationship because the narcissist is too draining to them. Many narcissists are quite charming and bubbly but they are on the clock.
After about an hour the fangs come out and they start talking about people in the room and become another person. Notice how some people will invite the narcissist to a lunch or a party then not talk to them for months after.
They have NO Loyalty (bonus)
They talk about everybody and say things about people they don’t even know to be true. His or her job as a narcissist is to keep all negative attention off of them and to solely place it on others.
They are under the impression that nobody can see their shortcomings when it is conversely obvious by their actions to otherwise disguise it. Their job is to appear perfect so that their insecurity stays buried but their insecurity is very much alive and NOT well.Most people who have a good sense of self will not have much to do with narcissists people but we have all been fooled and lured at one time or another.
If you realize that you have been dealing with a person or people like this … make sure your Fitbit is fully charged and run for three days in the opposite direction until you reach a church for safety.