Let’s dive into a vital and evergreen topic that continues to spark conversation and introspection in the -on-bet” target=”_blank”> community – marriage. The esteemed host of WHUR, therapist Audrey Chapman, offered some candid insights on the subject during a riveting session held at the Congressional -america-in-open-letter” target=”_blank”> Caucus conference a few years ago. This article revisits her powerful words and reflects on the current state of marriage in the black community. We’ll delve into the societal trends, attitudes, and obstacles that impact the dynamics of relationships and life. Here’s to a thought-provoking look at where we’ve been, where we are, and where we hope to be as a community.
Audrey Chapman’s Insightful Observations
Kudos to WHUR’s hostess/therapist Audrey Chapman for telling the truth. It’s necessary to acknowledge that many black men lack an example of what marriage is due to the absence of fathers in their upbringing. If 44% of black men never marry, it’s likely that a significantly higher percentage don’t have a parental relationship with their children either. Many brothers I know blame the child’s mother for that. (I can already see the flurry of comments this will invoke).
If you are black and love someone – or hope to love someone – who is black, the insights shared in this meeting are crucial. “We were better off finding a partner during the slavery period,” Audrey Chapman told the standing-room-only crowd at the “Single Women, Unmarried Men: What Has Happened to Marriage in the Black Community?” session at the Congressional Black Caucus conference.
The Case for Marriage
Marriage is beneficial, argued Ms. Chapman, an author, licensed therapist, and host of “The Audrey Chapman Show” on WHUR 96.3 FM. Typically, marriage means dual incomes, presence of the father in the home, and men remaining healthy because their wives “have a vested interest” in keeping them in tiptop shape.
Statistical Overview
Despite these positives, statistics about the black family tell a stark story. While traditionally the vast majority of black children were raised by their two parents, this measure was as low as 35 percent in 2004 and today stands at approximately 40 percent.
Nearly 44 percent of black men are “never married,” which is higher than Hispanic men (40 percent), Asian men (33.4 percent), and white men (27.4 percent), said Ms. Chapman.
Seeking Understanding
She posed the question to the crowd, “Why is that?” When the predominantly female audience suggested answers like “prison” or “unemployment,” Ms. Chapman was quick to clarify that this isn’t the whole story.
There are numerous black men with professional degrees, impressive titles, and BlackBerries. However, they don’t have a wife. Why is that? Ms. Chapman suggested that the answer begins with self-examination.
The Role of Self-love and Attitude
Chapman often starts her radio show with the question, ‘How’s your relationship with yourself?’ She asserts that if you’re in a negative space with yourself – if you’re unreliable, inconsistent with your values, not taking care of your body, your mind, or your spirit, then you can’t make good decisions. Your actions and choices mirror your internal state.
Additionally, black women must be willing to heal themselves and let go of their baggage – whatever it may be. We all have it, the divorced counselor added.
Final Thoughts
Another significant point is the impact of attitude. Ms. Chapman highlighted that without even realizing it, black women can adopt attitudes that inadvertently chase away love and happiness.
She ended her talk by advising black women to be more flexible about their dating pool. Black women “are the only group of people who are devoted to a group of people who are not devoted to them,” she said. “Black women need a rainbow coalition.”
Join us next week for another insightful discussion, as we continue to explore the nuances of love, marriage, and relationships within the black community. [source]
#BlackCommunity #Marriage #Relationships #SelfLove #AudreyChapman
