There are many things I never thought would happen when I started my career literally at five years of age at my babysitter Barbara Smith’s house. Her husband Allen played for the Buffalo Bills at the time, and all the DJs from WUFO (FM was not as hot as AM back then, imagine that) would come by. I would play the promotional records that were all white, so the famous blue Motown label was white. I would sit there with the smell of Kool cigarettes billowing through the air while Barbara was frying chicken in a cast iron skillet and Colt 45 cans were constantly popping while I played the records. I was the only kid there and I would sit in that leather chair for hours like I was watching a live movie. I had no idea I would grow up to be in radio as a DJ, but I know I saw my entire adult life play out before me at five years of age.
The More Things Change… The More They CHANGE
Early on, I got well-intentioned advice that at the time was solid, but today it could literally render you unhoused. Things have not only changed, they have DRASTICALLY changed. Most of it good, some of it bad, and some of it unnoticed.
I never had a mentor until I was much older, and that was a blessing and a curse. There were times I was unhinged in my approach to certain things because I always hated authority. I always wanted to be my own boss, and while there is freedom in that, there is also a cost. Which leads me to the first thing that no longer works.
1. Keep Your Mouth Shut and Your Ears Open
Playing the extreme politics that many of us seasoned industry folk endured will completely get you ignored today. The MOST successful people in today’s industry have the greatest presence and often the biggest mouths. They control their own destinies, and I have learned over the years that most people fear that. They like structure and, to an extent, constraint.
The other adage has replaced it: a closed mouth will not only not get fed, it will starve to death.
I always like to say you don’t know shit until you ask. And I have not only been pleasantly surprised by asking, there are times I’ve been damn near shocked. Just ask. And keep asking until you get what you want.
2. If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again
I have to admit, it’s been a while since I’ve heard that one. But my theory today is: if at first you don’t succeed, try another way. Try something else.
I always think the man who goes in the opposite direction that everybody else is going is usually the one who wins, because there are unknown resources to tap into when people ignore certain things. So instead of being like everybody else, determine how you can take the fork in the road. The road less traveled.
3. Treat People How You Want to Be Treated
I’ve learned over the years that this is horrible advice. I know it’s biblical and it’s real kind and everything else. But if you want to create a template when you walk into a room, treat yourself the way you want to be treated FIRST. Energy is everything and when everybody knows what you expect, they are less likely to test you with BS or to see how they can use you for their benefit and not yours.
It is absolutely true that the way you carry yourself and treat yourself is something people pick up on. Just like if you’re an empath and you’re always willing to give, people pick up on that too, and they’ll use you.
I used to be an empath. I no longer am. I went to Empaths Anonymous, a twelve step program to make you stop helping MFs without helping yourself first. Of course I’m joking. But I really did have to STS.
4. You Have to Pay Your Dues
No. You don’t. You have to pay your BILLS. So you do whatever it is you have to do to build your brand. Sometimes you’ll make mistakes, but AI is such a great disruptor and game changer that it eliminates all the shit that used to hold people, including me, back.
Whenever I see someone in Hollywood hoping and praying for a new acting gig, going on all those auditions and dealing with all that rejection from people who aren’t even from the culture, I literally feel sorry for them. Because the first thing I think is, why aren’t you creating your own shit? Why are you waiting for these people to create an opportunity for you?
He who has options has the greatest opportunity. So why not create something and make them come to you, when the ball is in your court? Then you can ask for what YOU want.
Which ties right back into keeping your mouth shut and your ears open. It makes no sense. You’ll never get anywhere doing that.
5. Do What You Love and the Money Will Come
I would actually stretch this one out, because I do believe it’s still true. But I’d add to it.
Do what you love and the money will come. Do what you love and the people you need to be around will come. Do what you love and the opportunities will come.
Think about a man in a marathon whose goal is to hit the finish line even if he’s not first. You can still be impressed by him because he made the effort. He’s not on the sidelines. He’s in the race.
But you also have to watch what tries to attach itself to you, because success is an aphrodisiac and it’s very attractive. You want to make sure you’re around like-minded people who can help you grow instead of dragging you down. We see this in the industry all the time with rappers, and even basketball players, football players, etcetera. The family is along for the ride, or the friends are along for the ride, and they don’t think they have to work. They look at it like it’s Disneyland.
A lot of us have this obligation, this feeling that we have to help bring other Black people up. But at the end of the day, you’re already there. So bringing them up is not the issue. You STAYING up is the issue. You have to watch who you surround yourself with, and who can bring you down.
6. You Have to Be in LA, New York, or Atlanta
No. As a matter of fact, it probably benefits you more if you stay in your hometown, unless you really want to get away from the negativity. Because some of these cities, no question, have a lot of crime. It’s just not very attractive. It’s gloomy and depressing. So you may have to make a move.
But you don’t have to go to a place like LA or New York or Atlanta anymore, because those places are all very crowded now with a lot of people trying to do what you want to do. So consider a smaller market, or more of a mid-sized market close by, and still do what you want to do. You can get everything accomplished, save your money, and bring everything to you.
7. You Have to Play By the Rules
There pretty much are no rules anymore. And the rules we had were not significant and were not beneficial for Black industry people. So you have to create your own rules. You create the culture, you create the rules. No more permission, no more fear, no more giving away what you already have.
There are so many resources now where you can monetize that. I literally just built an entire website in two hours with AI and Claude. Moreover a voice activted website where I can post to it from my phone. Before, that would have taken me two weeks, or I would have had to pay somebody anywhere from a thousand dollars to five thousand to do it. I spent probably twenty five dollars doing the whole thing, just by putting the prompts in.
Today you have all the resources available to you. There really, really, really is no excuse.
8. Be Patient
Again, I don’t think this is good advice. If you want something, you literally can get it right now, or at least start working on it.
The one thing I love about AI is that you’re not in a situation where you have to depend on other people’s problems, or them calling in, or their attitudes, or you not getting along with the politics. It is a wonderful thing for somebody like me who’s more of a creative.
Creators are not always the best managers. I have to admit that. We’re not always very organized, but we’re extremely creative. I hate management. I really love being creative. And for other creatives, creating systems with AI that help you relax is something you can actually look forward to.
9. Surround Yourself With the Right People
I can’t say this enough. That advice is actually still true. But it needs to be more defined.
The right people are the ones who do not drain you. They don’t complain. They’re willing to grow and help you grow as you help them grow. You’re not being burdened by someone eating up all your time and your energy.
I have at least ten male friends I bond with and reach out to on my road trips, and we have the most amazing conversations, about AI especially, and technology, business and and stocks and everything else. By the time I reach my destination I feel like I’ve had four years of college REAL college.
So surrounding yourself with the right people, in essence, is just making sure you’re around people who have either been where you haven’t been, that’s really important, or who you can feed off of and they can feed off you. It’s very important that it’s reciprocal, because you don’t want to use anybody or be used. You get to determine who you give to not the other way around. I really wish I had known that 30 years ago.
I told a friend the other day that I really appreciated some great advice he gave me, and I was about to send him and his wife a gift certificate for dinner. He told me, oh no, no, no, Kevin, that’s okay. He said I don’t need that, because I learn a lot from you too. And that was worth more than the gift certificate I was going to send.
I always try to show my appreciation, because I’ve been doing this for thirty years and there are a LOT of people who I have done things for and I only heard from them when they needed something else. One guy told me a few years ago, “If you get any invites to industry events let me know.” I never hear from this man but I kept his number in my phone just so I could block it (lol). I take a big chunk of that responsibility, because they needed to earn my trust and instead I was just giving it to them. I allowed a lot of people to make money off me who did not reciprocate. But I am grateful for the lesson and I balance it out but being gracious to my clients because that much more important. We live, we learn.
10. Follow Your Heart
I would actually say your heart is tied to your emotions, and I don’t think that’s a good idea, unless it’s based on doing what you love.
When it comes to life and making decisions, following your heart is not always the best decision. Just like following your mind is not always the best decision. I think following your gut, your instinct, your core, is always the best decision. It is the God in you and it’ll pretty much never lead you wrong. Even if you’re scared to approach something, if you follow your gut, it’s going to let you know what you can and cannot do.
The mind is all about mathematics, meaning we equate our experiences to our future decisions and then trepidation can kick in. And the heart is tied to emotion. So if somebody can get you to feel for them, or feel sorry for them, or play on your heartstrings, you may do something you later regret. But your gut will let you know which direction you need to go in, each time, every time.
11. Relationships Count.. But Mostly with Tech
Kids today couldn’t care less about industry relationships. They’re too time-consuming, and today’s industry is not about hype, schmoozing, or excuses … it’s about results.
What you do is more important than what you have done and, in many cases, who you knew or even who you know. If you master AI today, while so many people are still challenged by it, you automatically move to the front of the line and the top of the pay scale. It’s the FIRST time in my life that I have ever seen the scales finally balanced and Black people having a chance to dive in and win.
Best in Bussines
Kevin
